April 4, 2011

Moments I'd Like To Stand In Now...

30th May, 2006. 10:04 pm.

Some days I see the reasons I am here, the reasons that don’t require thought or feeling. Innate reasons that come to me in senses, bypassing my over analytical tendencies. Reasons more important than service, students, learning, growing, taking and receiving.

Today the clouds rolled in. Thick, dark and slow. I left my computer sitting on my desk, climbed onto the porch railing and sat, watching the storm come in. Waiting for the flashes of lightening, listening for the crashes of thunder until I saw darker clouds over my shoulder. So I followed the clouds to a place on the pavement where they passed by overhead and I stood in the rain, watching the storm come in.

The mountain standing beyond the school roof, changing colors as time passes. Darker with the shifting light, until suddenly lighter and lighter quickly, until it disappears into the fog and rain. The clouds overhead are no longer dramatically black and purple but different shades of gray. I am standing in the rain, exactly where I need to be.

For all the times Vermont has reined me in, it has also offered me moments to stand in the rain. Breathing space, without thought, and not needing to explain.

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