By 30, You Should

Mid twenties and I have many lists of goals to accomplish by thirty. There is one list that always stands out with personality. Ripped from the pages of Glamour magazine and color photo copied, framed, tucked away in the corner of my room. Found by a friend, ripped by a friend, framed by a friend and gifted by a friend - yet it is this list, my adopted list, that stands out among the many, many lists I have. A cartoon image of a fabulous woman in stilettos and a peacock feathered skirt, carefully holding a martini glass, sits fashionably on her very own modern, pink chair. It exudes glamour and sophistication. In my over-sized, gray, AmeriCorps sweatshirt and LLBean slippers, I do not. But this list has become one image for the future and at the very least, something to think about...

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to, and one who reminds you how far you've come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dream wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you're content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough to look forward to telling in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to make it have an old age - and some money set aside to fund it.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account - all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always make you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the relationship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don't like to.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
9. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
11. What you would and would not do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you should not take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault.
15. Why they say that life begins at 30.

[Glamour Magazine, September 2005, p379]