Dear Two Thousand Eleven,
I think I am head-over-heels in love with you already. (Is it too soon?) You put a smile on my face as I fall asleep at night, and I wake up to a mix of excitement and security. How did you know that you're exactly what I needed? How did you know to show up exactly when I needed you, when I was nearly ready to submit to permanent cynicism and pessimism? When I couldn't hold on to life-as-I-knew-it for a single second longer? You've offered me a new beginning, and I find myself trusting you, despite my baggage from other years. You're magnetic and electric, full of promises. I've only known you for a few days, but already I can't imagine my days without you. I can't imagine my future without you. I've never felt this way about a year before. Perhaps this is too soon, but I think I'm in with love you.
Still, I'm scared to trust you. I've been disappointed by past years. But my heart outweighs my logic and my hand is now in yours. I've learned from my past years, and although I've let my past experiences go, I still hold tightly the lessons learned. I won't follow you blindly. We need to walk together. You swept me off my feet when I needed you most, but my feet do still work and I can still walk. I won't get lost in you and I won't let you define me. I know, I know, you have no intentions of doing any such thing, which makes me love you even more. But I need you to know that I've worked hard to be the person you love (do you love me the way I love you?) and it's important that I don't lose who I am. Who I have worked hard to become. You may promise me shiny things, but I will always love more the things we make together - the things that come naturally and the things that we have to work hard for. I have goals and dreams for my life that I have worked towards long before I knew you, and I won't give those up. I don't think you're asking that of me. And I love you for that, too.
I am so happy you have come into my life and I am so excited for all of our days ahead.
Sincerely yours with love,
Emily
