On trying to find a room/apartment/roommates in less than twenty four hours in a very new place:
- Don't email the wife of a man in West Africa (on a "crusade") even if she is in the US. Refrain from asking him how that long distance relationship is working out for him.
- If you email a landlord (who lives in the apartment) to ask if everyone is in their twenties, be clear that "everyone" includes the landlord.
- When above landlord answers the door and is sixty-something (NOT twenty-something), turn around and run.
- When above landlord shows you the bare rooms (with the exception of a blanket, pillow and single suitcase) of three twenty-something international women, turn around and run.
- When above landlord tells you he only rents to young women, turn around and run.
- When above landlord refers to himself as "Papa" while explaining to you why all women hate men, turn around and run. (Why did you wait so long?!)
- When the house of all twenty-something ladies (who have already sold you on how awesome it will be to live with them) doesn't even let you in to see the house because they chose someone else twenty minutes ago, do not respond with "OK, thanks!" It is not okay (hello, panic) and you are not appreciative.
- Or, say thank you, but not to them. Be grateful that you didn't get to see the apartment, because the next one will be even better.
- Do say thank you at least seventeen times to the kind man at CVS who drew you a map and refrained from saying "Wow, you are really, really lost" until he knew you would not take offense to it. (Welcome to my life, sir.)
- Showing up to see a room/apartment only to find it entirely dark does not mean the world is over.
- Clear out your cell's voicemail box before traveling 300 miles south to look at places. (You should already know this!)
- Showing up to an entirely dark apartment to meet a landlord that you could hardly understand over his scratchy cell reception, does not mean he is a potential serial killer. (Or it might, but whatever.)
- In fact, it actually means he thought you were a flake for having a full voicemail box and would not be showing up. He's not a likely serial killer. (But you might be a bit of a flake sometimes.)
- But when he shows up, leave the front door wide open so your mom can hear you blow the whistle on your keys should you need to.
- When landlord asks if you would like to invite whoever is waiting in the car for you in to see the apartment (after you have already fallen in love with it), say yes.
- Having your mom see the apartment (and approve!) is pretty much as reassuring at twenty seven as it is at twenty one.
- Finding a place to live that fits both your budget and what you imagine your new life will look like is even more exciting and exhausting than you expected.
- You can celebrate new found room/apartment/roommates with a Starbucks latte at 9:30pm and still be asleep be asleep by 10:30pm. (You should already know this!)
