March 11, 2012

B

Twice this weekend, I planned to take my camera around the city and take a few photos. Twice I didn't end up going. (Too cold, too late, too much weekend track work, too tired, too...) I felt guilty for not going both times. The same way I feel guilty when I procrastinate going grocery shopping. Which is the exact opposite feeling I want to associate with my camera.

I had a good week. I had a great weekend. Some of the high points I caught with my iphone. Comfy slippers, glasses at work (which means a lot of reading and writing (love)), coffee, The Black Keys concert, dinner and dessert, the start of cherry blossom season, a good book on my front porch...

So, I didn't break out my "real" camera. Maybe I didn't need to. At least not in the way I once did.

Everything is changing. That is a fact, this time, more than just a feeling, like last June. (A feeling that ended up being entirely correct.) There will be, there is, great, excellent change.

I need to loosen my grip a bit. Ease into the next handful of months and then again into the handful of months after that. I may not have taken photos with my "real" camera, but I took photos. And taking photos is the heart of the matter. There is wiggle room in my life right now. I need to loosen my grip and enjoy it.

It's spring now. We might hit 80 degrees mid-week. We have longer evenings and more sunshine. Time to shed the layers no longer needed. Time for the buds to burst and the flowers to bloom. Time to watch the season change. And time to know that it will change again. Enjoy this season now. Every moment of it.

Big camera, small camera, or no camera. That's what I intend to do.



(and yes, i'd card me at a bar, too. and maybe even at a movie theater. geesh, i look young in that photo.)