I stepped off the bus into a gust of cold air and rain. Ducked my head down in the absence of an umbrella and made my way to the Metro - slower than the rain fell. Closed my eyes the whole ride home and almost made it to the front porch before the skies opened entirely. Cold and drenched, I fumbled for my keys under the porch light. Crawled into bed and fell asleep to the cold rain, the covers tucked under my chin.
The morning light fell blue grey and the puddles held ringlets. Dressed myself in clothes too warm for last week and grabbed my rain jacket from the closet. Mismatched attire but I wanted the hood, the casual comfort. The feel of wrapped up, held together, just held.
I ran all summer. On adrenaline. On coffee. On musts and shoulds. Trying to stay ahead of the change. To beat change. To make it to higher ground before it washed ashore and stole the sand, wiped clean my footprints. Our footprints. I ran and didn't look back.
I'm here now.
Car lights illuminate the street before I've figured out what to have for dinner and I pull on a hooded sweatshirt to ward off chills even though the air conditioner doesn't hum. I take a sip of pumpkin spice and remind myself: I believe in the change of seasons
and the seasons of change.
Just had a most difficult phone call. I got out of bed to read blogs (and eat a bowl of cereal, of course).
ReplyDeleteYou convince me that I'm going to be okay.
Thank you, from the bottom of my slowly but surely healing heart.
Thank you.
I want to be walking down a street cluttered with leaves, drinking pumpkin spice, wrapped in warm clothes, laughing at tripping, laughing at silly thoughts, and holding my best friend's hand! (that is you).
ReplyDeleteYou write beautiful posts, that somehow always put at least one of my thoughts into words.
ReplyDeleteHope everything's okay, and I hope you enjoyed your pumpkin spice. (:
You, my love, will always be okay. And I will remind you of that day or night. I'm proud of you for handling a difficult phone call (among a thousand other things). xo
ReplyDeleteMe too! Me too!
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Mel! Pumpkin spice seems to always make everything better. =)
ReplyDelete